In the Middle of His Will: Joshua Nathaniel's Birth Story

I wanted to write this all down before I forgot. My memory is not the greatest these days.

On September 9th, 2009 I worked late (6:15pm) trying to get everything together for my boss. For the past few days I wasn't able to sleep the night before I had only gotten 2-3 hours a sleep and I was wide awake until 3 or 4am. It was happening again this night too. I was so tired but I could not sleep. I took two TylenolPM's (my best friend during pregnancy) and laid down to go to bed around 10pm. I laid their for a while but finally fell asleep. I got up around 2am to go to the bathroom, which happened many times a night at this point, and realized that when I was on my way to the bathroom that my water broke. I had asked someone previously what your water breaking felt like and all they could tell me was, "you'll definitely know when it happens." She was right. I woke Michael up and told him my water broke and I headed back for the bed. Michael asked me what I was doing and to that I told him I was going back to bed, this kid wasn't going to be here for a while I was planning on just laboring at home for a while. I wasn't in pain just grossed out by the water gushing out every so often.

Michael insisted that I call Dr. Mani. So I did. The nurses exchange said that Dr. Mani suggested that I get to the hospital as soon as possible. I wasn't in a rush. I had my bag mostly packed and Joshua's bag was packed. I made sure that Michael had a shirt with him that I didn't mind being in pictures. (Thanks Emily for that advice) I ate something knowing that I wouldn't be able to eat when I got to the hospital. I should have ate A LOT MORE.

After we packed up all our stuff, we got to the hospital and checked in around 4am. I called my family on the way to the hospital. All they kept saying was " I can't believe you are so calm." What did i have to be nervous about - I was ready to get this kid out and at this point I wasn't in any pain. They checked me when I arrived and I was barely 1 cm. They took us to our room and told us to get some sleep and they would be by to check on me later.

I had a birth plan kind of decided. I wanted to make it to 6 cm before I got an epidural and I didn't want pitocin. I got one part of the plan. At around 8 am I had not progressed at all, well very little. I was at 2 cm. Hessie (my wonderful Jewish nurse) suggested that we get started with the pitocin to get the labor started so I wouldn't be sitting around all day with nothing happening. At first I was ok, but once that pitocin kicked in the pain came. We walked up and down the halls. I sat on the birthing ball. I wanted to be mobile as long as I could so I could progress the labor. About noon, my great friend and photographer came - Emily Loveall. It was so great having her there. She knew what I was going through and was so comforting.

I made it finally to 6 cm and I was done being brave - I was in pain. I asked for the epidural. This was around 2pm. The combination of the epidural and the pitocin did not set well with Joshua. All of a sudden an alarm went off - and a gang of nurses and a doctor came in to my room in a whirlwind. Michael wasn't there at the time he had went downstairs to drop off something for his boss to pick up. I just looked at Emily and asked her how low Joshua's heart rate was.... she just looked at me and said "It's a little low." By this time, I had an oxygen mask on me, people still swirling around me, and they were putting an internal fetal monitor on him. I was scared. They decided to take me off the pitocin for a while and let things progress. His heart rate started to increase and people began to leave my room. His heart rate was steadily around 120-133 and it had dipped down to 80 bpm. Very Scary!!! And did I mention... My husband is no where around. He comes in right after it's all over.

After I got the epidural in, I felt so good. However, I was more numb on my right side than my left so I was still feeling my contractions a little. We watched the 24th season of Oprah kick off with a performance from the Black Eye Peas "I got a Feeling." Which every time I hear that song I thing of being in the labor and delivery room. While I was in labor, I took a call for a job interview. Thank goodness I didn't have a contraction while I was on the phone with this woman. We were able to set up a time after I got home to do the interview - It didn't end up working out.

The night moved on and I kept progressing. Finally at 7pm I was 10 cm. We waited a little while for him to drop a little more and for Dr. Mani together there. My epidural ran out right before pushing. They thought it was a good idea to go ahead... I thought otherwise. I had them fill that puppy back up. Not enough to completely numb me but enough to help me. I pushed for what felt like an eternity but was only an hour. I felt so weak. I couldn't not find a way to push my body up while pushing him out. I had the nurse help me by pulling my arms, then she had me pull on one side of towel while she held the other - didn't work. She finally gave me the hand rails that I was able to use to help pull me up. I had one nurse on one leg and Emily on another, with Michael behind me helping me push my torso forward. It felt like I couldn't move forward. My nurse didn't have the best bedside manner. I was getting really discouraged and felt like I wasn't progressing at all. When Dr. Mani finally got there - she helped rally me to a big finish. Grey's Anatomy was also on distracting me from the pain and burning.

He finally made his appearance at 8:35pm. I felt like I had been through a war and I looked like I had been. No one told me to put some makeup and do my hair before you take those "afterglow birth pictures with your newborn and husband" After he was out, I cried. I was so happy it was over, happy he was here. But ...I didn't hear him cry. It took them a while to clean him up and he was quiet. I kept asking Michael if he was ok, and he walked over and told me he was fine... finally a cry. The smallest cutest cry you ever heard. He was here and he was healthy. I couldn't be more happy or feel more blessed. God had given me the baby I had asked him for. It was easier than I had ever imagined it to be - Michael and I were prepared to struggle with fertility due to my previous issues - But God worked past all of that and gave me a beautiful healthy baby boy.

Joshua Nathaniel was born on September 10th, 2009 (9-10-09) at 8:35 pm and was 6 lbs 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. He had one major cone head, which really freaked Michael out. Dr. Mani insisted that it would go away within a few days. It did, so much so that he shrunk almost a full inch at his first pediatricians appointment four days later. He was born with one brown eye, one blue eye and curly red hair. I almost thought they had brought me the wrong baby when I saw him. He wasn't anything what I expected him to look like. But he was perfect. They gave him his first bath and washed him up and then they gave him to me and it was surreal. I was now staring at the person who I had already known for 9 months for the first time. I got to meet this little man who had kept me up so many nights and kicked me so hard at times that it knocked the air out of me. At that moment I couldn't imagine my life ever being without him. I was now a mom. Whoa.

After 18 long hours I got to eat. I was so excited -while Michael went down and got me a hamburger and fries, I called my family and had friends send out messages on my behalf. Emily got my password to facebook and posted pictures and the announcement of Joshua Nathaniel's arrival. My Dad and Step-mom Brenda were anxiously waiting to come in but Michael and I and Josh just took some time to be a family for a while and get used to this idea of having a son.

We let them in and they couldn't get over how perfect he was. Soon after that - they took us to our postpartum room. Unfortunately since everyone decided to have their baby the day before 9-9-9, I got stuck in one of the sucky small rooms. I was hoping for one of the bigger rooms on the wings - oh well. My mom had been driving all day and night from Pennsylvania and got there at 12am. They brought Joshua in to try and breastfeed and my mom just cried. We had never had a boy in our family - this was a whole new world for us. I didn't know if I would be able to breastfeed at all due to breast reduction surgery when I was 19. It wasn't easy and Joshua didn't have the best latch but we did have minimal success. I gave it the old college try for 2 months. I have since given up - since he was not able to get what he needed from me and I was already supplementing.

Well, this is Joshua's story. It was WAY easier than I ever thought it would be and I feel so blessed to have him in my life. I will never be the same and I am happy for that. I gladly give up my name to be called "Mom" for the rest of my life.