I apologize it's been so long since I've last posted. So much has gone on and then again - nothing at all. But through it all - I am trying to hold on to hope.- Michael is officially back from Chicago and it looks like he'll be home for a while which is good.
- I am suffering through an independent study class this summer and it is going to be the death of me - never again. I have 3 quizes, 2 books, and 15 lectures to listen to before I am done... not to mention a comprehensive final. It might kill me - and that's not an exaggeration.
- My cat is recovering from my stupidity. About a week ago, I had to take Leo to the Emergency Vet at 10pm. I had put some of the dogs flee and tick medicine on him in a very small dose not knowing that it is TOXIC to cats. This left him very itchy, having tremors that could have led to seizures and having to be put under, given an IV, and later sedated just to allow him to sleep. It was a night of knowing a little of what parents go through with sick babies. I just felt so helpless and scared. He is recovering fine and is back to his old self.
- My work has been overwhelming to say the least but the team is pulling together and I hope to have a bearable and organized chaos at registration this year and moving to the new building.
- I have been physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. My life is full of battles and in survivor mode I want to victory in all of them but I can't. In choosing my battles, I have decided (reluctantly) to not do youth ministry for possibly another year. I say reluctantly because it hurts my soul..... I know it's the right thing to do for this season in my life but a little part of me (hope) that I had been holding on to after an already 9 month break is slipping through my fingers. For those of you who don't know - Youth ministry is my lifeblood - it re-energizes me and fills my life with passion. I love seeing the light bulb go off and the opportunity to be privileged enough to be part of God's plan is more than an honor for me - it's humbling to say the least. I am not good at many things - but I LOVE teaching, discipling and investing in kids lives. I love sharing all the amazing things I learn at Covenant with them and seeing that look of .... "why have I never heard this before". God in his graciousness gave me that opportunity in a small way in my membership class. There was a woman bold enough to admit that she had never been told that the Trinity was there in the "beginning." Our class is about 30-40 ppl and with only hour and a half there was no time to fully explain the proofs of the statement. Knowing how this blew my mind the first time I was explained, I took a bold move and introduced myself to this nice woman. I said "That point you mention in class was astounding to me the first time I heard it - I'd love to tell you more if you'd like." And she accepted and I was able to show her the evidence of the Trinity in Genesis 1 and how that ties into John 1. It made me feel great to help another sister know God better.
- I am having a real problem with coveting. Every where I look - people are getting what I want. A trip to Europe for free, a house, a great ministry job (don't get me wrong - i love my job but...I am in school to go into full-time ministry, Lord willing), a baby......Please pray for me in this area it has been a huge struggle with being content with where the Lord has me.
- Also, I have been stuffing most, if not all, emotions. Please pray that God would give me the strength to deal with issues head on and use people in my life to speak truth, love, and help with restoration.
- And if you haven't figured it out.... i have taken on too much in my life but i don't know what to let go of. I need margin and wisdom in deciding where that is going to come from.
In the words of a very wise and loved friend, I am trying to "dig my heels in" and trust in God to be my defender, my shield, my comfort, and my portion. I am daily making the decision to hold on to hope.
