Today I am sad....

I am sitting home on a Saturday night missing my husband terribly and wondering how did this happen.

About 3 years ago...I was "wonder woman" I didn't need a man. I was completely content being alone. I was brave enough to live alone, falling alseep was not a problem. I was focused and I could do it all by myself, quite efficently I would say.

And now.....I am a TOTAL WIFE. I feel lost when Michael's not around. When something good happens, like it did on Friday. He was the only person I wanted to share it with and I wasn't able to talk to him until 11pm. I am so LONELY without him and I can't sleep at night because I have made up ever noise in my head and get scared. Just by having him downstairs while I'll fall asleep gives me peace.

Michael left for Chicago on Thursday morning at 5am and won't be back until Thursday night only to leave again on Sunday for another week (maybe two). I know women deal with their husbands being gone all the time. But I feel lost, sad and lonely. I miss my best friend. He is working so hard from 8am till sometimes 10pm and it's hard not to be able to even talk to him. How did this happen? Is it a good thing? I am not sure.

I guess it would be bad if I didn't miss him or I thought of him like the main character on "Waitress" ( that I just finished watching). I just wish I felt more at ease without him here. I feel like my missing him gets in the way of my productivity. Oh well - just rantings of a lonely wife....he'll be home soon. Until then I have to lock up and set the alarm so I can sleep.

All I want to do...

I get to work and this is all I feel like doing, laying outside watching the clouds roll by. I love my job but I feel nature calling me outside to play the minute I sit at my desk. This weather is tempting me. I just want to be on a blanket outside with my Bible..... maybe even take a nap.

Wedding anyone?

This month has been the time of not only remembering our wedding (1 year ago) but also going to 3 weddings out of 4 weeks. Our third and final for the month of June is next week.

I have already blogged about Katie and Tom Smyth....what a great wedding. I saw her wedding pictures today... oh my gosh - they are wonderful.

Last weekend was my dear friend, Corinne and Josh. Corinne and I worked together last summer and I don't know if it was our shared love of Sex and the City or her darn-gone cuteness but we became friend and it has been my honor to call her my friend. I had the pleasure of helping her set up for her reception at Covenant Seminary (where her dad is the President - mingling with the important people - lol). I remember the AMAZING crew that saved me on my wedding day and set up. So, I felt it my duty to return the favor. Her wedding was amazing. Totally Corinne - laid back, warm, loving, and fun. She did a great job pulling it all together at the same time finishing college, and student teaching ... did I mention that I think she's superwoman.
Here are some pictures from Corinne's wedding. I hope you guys are having a great time in Colorado... and then ... they "have to" go to Hawaii to celebrate with his family.

Next weekend we have Melynda Adams and Billy Boyce. I am so excited for this wedding. Melynda is one of the most amazing women I know and Billy totally sees that too. Melynda and I work together and I have had a front row seat to see their love blossom from Melynda talking to Billy as a prospective student to hearing the amazing story of how he proposed. I know that God will be honored and glorified by this union, just as the others I have had the honor of attending. Melynda, side note, is the most calm bride to be I have ever witnessed. She is cool as a cucumber. I know that she has surrounded herself with some amazing people to be able to react this way T minus 8 days.... I hope her wedding day is everything that she has dreamed it to be. It promises to be wonderful.

With the blessings of all these weddings though....it is wonderful to see the personality of each bride come out in all the little details of the day. It's been so awesome to see. Michael isn't as thrilled with all these weddings as I am- I love a good love story, I don't care that I have to wear heals and watch my makeup sweat down my face. But I don't think he's died from having to wear a tie, he's avoided having to dance at the last 2 and deep down.... I know he's a big sap too.

Happy Wedding to all the June Brides.... but remember - Preparing for your marriage is more important that being prepared just for your wedding day.

A year marked with joy and challenges

I can't even believe it's been one year since Michael and I married. I feel so blessed to be on this journey with him and have him as my husband. He makes my life full of joy, laughter, and excitment and challenges me in so many things (which is a good thing since I tend to think I know the best way to do all things ~ at least I did, I am growing). I don't know if those people are that say "My first year of marriage was so wonderful" are sugar-coating things or dillusional - but our first year was not easy. You put any two subborn, broken, set in our way people together and tell them to live with each other, and sparks are bound to fly every now and then.

I believe marriage is truly a wonderful thing. I am blessed to be married to Michael and God has taught me a lot by putting him in my life. I, for the first time, know that you can be loved and the bottom is not destined to fall out, they will not leave, and forgiveness is the most important part of a relationship.

We really wanted to celebrate this momentous occasion. So Michael suprised me with the idea of going to Hermann. We found the most WONDERFUL B&B (not covered in knicknacks and flowers or paisely), Inn at Hermannhof. Since we stayed Sunday through Monday - we got a Great Price. The room was beautiful. We had a tub that would fit 4 people, a shower that makes mine feel week (8 shower heads), and a fridge of unlimited wine, cheese, crackers, and pop.

A King Sized bed....is so wonderful Gas burning fire place (one in the bathroom too)

We arrived Sunday around 1:30pm. We were not able to check in until 4pm, so we were forced to go across the streat to the Hermannhof winery. There we sampled many different wines but settled on "The White Lady" I had prepacked a picnic lunch with cheese, bread, fruit and sausage (oh and starbursts for Michael). It was a beautiful day. We walked up and down the streets looking in mostly at the shops (since most were closed since it was Sunday- small town rules). But we were able to find one restaurant open on Sunday night, Vantage at the Stone Hill winery.

It was so nice just to get away and focus on each other .... here's some pictures from our trip. I would highly recommend the hotel and Hermann overall for a romantic weekend or just a girls weekend (they have spas and wine... what more could a girl want?)

Hermannhof Winery

River (?) infront of Hermannhof Winery...terrace overlooked this (beautiful)

Hermann Hill Inn (view from Stone Hill Winery)

Views of Hermann from Stone Hill Winery

Stone Hill at sunset

Views at Oakglenn Winery

Beautiful views of Missouri Wine Country

Sex and the City....Delivers!

I've been awaiting this movie since the series finale. I had heard mixed reviews from faithful fan to just interested movie goers, so I didn't know what to think going into to it.

I loved it. I love the characters and their relationships - that is the true heart and soul of the show and now movie. I cried more than I probably should ... but it was moving to this SATC sucker. I loved the message of forgiveness and second chances. The only thing I would change is that "Big" (John) would have sent Carrie a "real" love letter at the end finally telling her how he truly felt about her. But as my sister said, "that's not Big."

I will be going to see it again and buying it when it comes out. I was delighted with the plot, characters and how it all got tied up with a BIG bow.

I was so delighted to go with a girlfriend from work. And loved seeing all the women dressed up and out on the town with their girlfriends. Michael had offered to see it with me....but its something that I think is just a girl thing.

Congrats Katie & Tom

I have had the pleasure of knowing Katie for about two years and Tom about a year. They are the most wonderful couple. I feel blessed to have them in our life. This past weekend we had the great honor of attending their wedding. I can't imagine a more beautiful bride and the wedding was AMAZING.

They were married in a ELCA church in Webster Groves, MO. The old style architecture and stain glass was beautiful. And made me wish we'd would have picked somewhere like that. We had a great time and at their reception they had a live big band. It was so unique and so them (they are both band directors & and musicans).

I can't believe our wedding was just one year ago. And I am thankful that I made it through. I know that Katie and Tom are also grateful to be on the other side of "I do" celebrating their honeymoon in Georgia.

The pictures were taken by my most talented friend, Kim Underwood.

Results

Just wanted to update those who read my blog. I heard from the doctor and my ultrasounds were completely normal. I have never heard those words come from my OBGYN office but they did this time. So, for right now I am only following up on the abnormal cells in my cervix with another biopsy in July and then we'll go from there.

Thanks for the prayers! Oh and BTW....if by chance there are any ultrasound techs out there reading this I have something to say to you..... Keep your TRAP SHUT...it's not your place to panic the patient.