Saturday, June 28, 2008

Today I am sad....

I am sitting home on a Saturday night missing my husband terribly and wondering how did this happen.

About 3 years ago...I was "wonder woman" I didn't need a man. I was completely content being alone. I was brave enough to live alone, falling alseep was not a problem. I was focused and I could do it all by myself, quite efficently I would say.

And now.....I am a TOTAL WIFE. I feel lost when Michael's not around. When something good happens, like it did on Friday. He was the only person I wanted to share it with and I wasn't able to talk to him until 11pm. I am so LONELY without him and I can't sleep at night because I have made up ever noise in my head and get scared. Just by having him downstairs while I'll fall asleep gives me peace.

Michael left for Chicago on Thursday morning at 5am and won't be back until Thursday night only to leave again on Sunday for another week (maybe two). I know women deal with their husbands being gone all the time. But I feel lost, sad and lonely. I miss my best friend. He is working so hard from 8am till sometimes 10pm and it's hard not to be able to even talk to him. How did this happen? Is it a good thing? I am not sure.

I guess it would be bad if I didn't miss him or I thought of him like the main character on "Waitress" ( that I just finished watching). I just wish I felt more at ease without him here. I feel like my missing him gets in the way of my productivity. Oh well - just rantings of a lonely wife....he'll be home soon. Until then I have to lock up and set the alarm so I can sleep.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Carin, I know how you feel! Patrick was gone this past week and it took me awhile to go to sleep each night because I heard every little noise in the house. I think it's perfectly normal and good to miss your husband. When you're used to going to sleep next to someone every night it's hard to switch back to being single again. The good thing about having your husband away is you realize how much you love and appreciate him. I hope you survive the rest of the week - hang in there!

Katie said...

Our house is always open to you! Glad to see your sister was able to be with you yesterday at church.