So you say there's Global Warming.....

I am hit with laughter at the idea of global warming on a day like to day. This is the worst winter St. Louis has had in years. I have been in the mid-west my entire life and I cannot recall a winter with so much snow, sleet, or ice.

Today I got a text at 7am from Covenant Theological Seminary (my work and school) telling me we were closed due to incremental weather. Therefore, I have not left the house all day. I was not upset by this news since it gave me one more day to recover (which is moving very slowly). There is about, what seems to be from my dining room window view, .25" of solid ice covering my car. The joys of winter. I don't know if you know this about me but I HATE WINTER! If it were up to me we'd live in Arizona or near an ocean somewhere like California.

Benefits for warm weather areas:

1. Depending on where you live, limited humidity - good for this curly girl's hair

2. My body won't ache so much. Cold weather is not good for Fibromyalgia

3. I like sunshine

4. My ideal shoe preference would be flip flops all year round

5. I don't care about seasons. I have memories and that's all I need. Also, isn't that what road trips are for.

6. Digging in the sand is better than digging out your car from a snow/ice storm

7. Did I mention it's good for my hair.... big deal ...very big deal

8. Warm weather does not hold you hostage in your house because it's not safe to go anywhere.

9. I would imagine (not proven), people don't get as sick in warm places. If that's not true, don't tell me - I rather live in my dream world - don't burst my bubble.

10. No dry skin, No cracked lips, and I would have a reason to shave my legs.

OBGYN DOCTOR POST

I did not go to my appointment today. I like my OBGYN office way too much to risk infecting them with my disease. So we've rescheduled for March 21st. One more month....and hopefully I'll be able to breathe by then.

I bet they don't have winters like this in Australia!

(that ones for you Mama Jean)

I'll be the first to admit....

I am a horrible sick person! I have been home in solitary confinement all day. I slept for two hour incriments from 10pm last night to 3:30 pm today. I have had a 102 degree fever all day. I am achy, drippy, sick of coughing, and overall miserable. I am on a heavy dosage of asprin and Mucinex. And did I mention that I've went through 3 boxes of tissues.

To make matters worse, Michael is gone on a business trip. I have no one to take care of me. Yeah I know what your thinking... I am pathetic. My house is trashed....I have no desire to clean when I am coughing up a lung. I also have no desire or the attention span to read for school when I should be... it's hard to read when all my nose does is drip the minute I put my head down to read.... annoying.

And so the Saga continues

Thursday at 1pm I have another OBGYN appointment to have a biopsy of my cervix done, again. I am so sick of this.....I am ready for God to give me the victory in this...like yesterday. Please pray for me and my healing. I'll let you know the results.

Not Doing So Hot

I started feeling sniffly on Sunday after my nap on Sunday.... it's progressed to a full blown cold. I hate feeling like I have someone sitting on my chest....it hurts to breathe. I have tried so hard not to get this - but .....I did not prevail.

So I am sick with no one to take care of me.... Michael is in Alabama...all week. Double Yuck.

And because I don't feel good - this is how I feel as I am suppose to be working until 5 but I've already mentally checked out.

I think I am just going to go home and sleep.... oh yeah - I forgot I have 300 pages to read. Sleeping will have to wait

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Or for those of you who are single.... Happy Singles Awareness Day....

Breaking Free

Only in Christ can we have true Freedom. Yet in our humaness we are held captive by our pasts, burdens, and fears. I feel for the first time God is opening my eyes to the victory He is giving me over the scars of my past. I am healing slowly but surely. I have hope for a new and different life, relationships, and being.

"My Chains are gone, I've been set free, My God my Savior has rescued me"
-Chris Tomlin

Chains can be familiar and even though the they are unlocked and we are free, we stay shackled to them because it is the only way we know. I pray that God gives me the strength to remove the bondage that keeps me from feeling true freedom in Christ and becoming who he wants me to be. I pray the same for you.

May my pain be used for His Purposes to further Glorify the name of Christ.

8 Months of Marriage... and what I've learned so far

I cannot believe that I have been married for 8 months... geeze where does the time go. Well in seriousness and humor here is what I've learned in 8 months of marriage...

1. My love and appreciation for Michael grows every day.
2. I am able to disagree with him without it being a fight
3. He has a real desire to protect me
4. I need to stop getting in the way of him being able to "lead"
5. I look better tan...(looking at honeymoon photos)
6. Silence isn't always bad
7. We will never be on the same sleep cycle. But being tucked into bed isn't just for kids.
8. Even though I am in seminary, I learn a lot about God and His word from my husband's perspective.
9. Grace is needed daily
10. I don't say "I am sorry" or "thank you" enough
11. I don't have to rearrange the dishwasher to my likings after my husband has loaded it. I am learning to be thankful that he loads it.
12. I hate doing laundry even more now...and now I have twice as much
13. I am a lighter sleeper than I though I was.
14. Michael and I both need time with our friends
15. He makes me laugh harder than anyone
16. He makes me feel radiant, when I don't feel so hot.
17. Sacrifice isn't as hard as I thought it was, when I know it will make things better in the long run.
18. I can get by on not shopping every season... I do miss it though
19. God is faithful.
20. I need to listen more than I talk
21. Letting him drive, makes him feel better
22. We have to do things for the better of us, not what other would want.
23. It is nice to have a tall person in the house that can change light bulbs, kill bugs, and reach bowls and dishes out of my reach.
24. I miss having a queen size bed to myself.
25. Michael supports my education and me in ministry.
26. Cooking every night ... has caused me to gain more weight than i ever wanted. (+meds)
27. His hug can calm me down in seconds flat without even a word.
28. He's unfortunately the target of my bad day (sorry honey)
29. Forgiveness is the most important part of a marriage
30. Time and therapy heal all old wounds and allows for new beginnings and keeps us from becoming our parents.
31. I miss him when he's not around

New Computer...blogging again

Our Christmas was spent at HOME.... it was glorious. It was the first year in 6 years that I haven't had to drive 10 hours both ways to Pittsburg. It was so nice to spend time with Michael family in Springfield, MO the weekend before Christmas. We left on Friday and were home on Sunday night.

Christmas Eve, We went to chuch. Then we went to eat dinner at Lone Star Steak house. We came home and watched Christmas movies. We both finished wrapping gifts and then went to bed. The next morning it was just us. We made cinnamon rolls, drank coffee and opened our gifts. It was so fun just the two of us. Shortly after cleaning up ....I started the feast. I started cooking at 9:30am for my Dad and step-mom's arrival. On the Menu:
1. Ham glazed in brown sugar and butter
2. Stuffing
3. Mashed Potatoes
4. Green beans
5. Cranberry sause
6. Salad
7. Rolls
8. Sweet Carrots

And Brenda brought the desserts. We gorged ourselves on food....gultany at its finest. It was nice just spending time with them and they left by 4:30 to go back to Pinckneyville. So Michael and I were back to being by ourselves. And did.... nothing. I had scheduled to go ice skating...but Michael opted to stay in and watch movies. Great First Christmas.... Here's some more pictures.

I've been using all my words in counseling.....

I just wanted you all to know that I am still alive - just overwhelmed. I will have a computer up soon that I can load pictures on and then let the blogging begin again. Thanks for all the people who've checked on me...

News from the Rheumatolgist

I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It explains my many years of chronic pain, that in the past few years has become worse to the point that I cannot sleep. However, it does not explain why my cervical issues persist. One thing at a time, I guess. My doctor said that is from prolonged periods of high stress and anxiety, along with inconsistent exercise. This is me...! So I have been put on medicine that I will start taking tomorrow (didn't do it during finals because it makes you drowsy.) It will help my joint pain...help me sleep and also will give me the relief I need to endure working out again. Did I say..it will help me sleep - YEAH - more than 4 hours at a time will be great.

Here's some information for those of you who are not familiar w/ Fibromyalgia:

*Fibromyalgia is a physical condition that can also affect your mood. It is not "all in your head." However, like many people who have chronic pain, people with fibromyalgia are more likely to have depression and may require specific treatment for it.

*Stress and depression can often make fibromyalgia worse. Dealing with the symptoms of fibromyalgia can itself cause stress and depression. This cycle can become very frustrating.

*Fibromyalgia does not cause permanent damage to the muscles or joints. For some people, however, chronic pain does disrupt daily life and makes certain activities more difficult. Home treatment to control your pain and other symptoms may allow you to continue your usual activities.

*Most people can manage their symptoms with the help of their regular doctors. If necessary, seeing a doctor who specializes in treating conditions that affect the joints and muscles (rheumatologist) or a doctor who specializes in physical rehabilitation (physiatrist) may be helpful.

Snow, Snow and More Snow...and oh yeah.. Finals

So it really snowed in St. Louis. More than I have seen since I was a kid and everything seemed big. Here are some photos of our fun in the snow. Seven Inches.....turning into 9 inches
Chewy...Digs his head into the snow like an ostreich.

Michael is just a big kid.

Shak'n it Covenant Style...Christmas Banquet

Michael and I got the chance to go to the Covenant Christmas Banquet. Here are some pictures.

Michael and I

Isn't He cute...

Laura, Kristy and I....smiles all around.

Our First Christmas....

Christmas is my FAVORITE season! I usually make my house look like christmas threw up in side. Every room has decorations. I love Christmas. So naturally the weekend after Thanksgiving, I was begging my husband to go get a tree.

I would have put up the fake tree I had for 4 years but my cat destroyed it last year. So this year, our first Christmas ....we were going to get a real tree. This I thought would be so fun as I remembered back to when I was 7 years old and went out with the whole family to find the perfect tree at the Tree Farm. We'd cut it down, bring it home and in my mind, it was always perfect.

Many of you might not know this but my husband is brilliant yet has the HARDEST time making decisions. I mean he can pick out a movie or his meal at a restaurant but we spent about an hour going back and forth trying to pick a tree in the FREEZING RAIN. This was not optimal tree picking weather. But gosh darn it ... Thanksgiving was over and I wanted my tree.

We found our tree, stuffing it into the back of my Ford Focus... of course it was hanging out the window... oh yeah ... remember it was raining...and cold and we had a the window down. I love my husband, because at this point he could have been really cranky but he was a trooper for me, because I LOVE Christmas.

We decided not to have them mount our tree in a tree stand. Why pay them $20 to do it when we are two capable college graduates? Its a tree stand... how hard can it be?......Famous last words. This became the decision we wished we could take back. It took us a good hour to get the tree in the stand and wiggling it and moving it to make it straight. I also didn't estimate the size so it took some time to find a place where it would fit and then have to rearrange the furniture so it would fit.....Our tree ended up in the dinning room.

Michael had a volleyball game that night. We started to decorating and I was going to demonstrate my tree decorating skills that I bragged about. I have Christmas music on.... pulling out all my old ornaments. Michael at this point was not so happy and full of the spirit as I would have liked but he did spend 1 hour wrestling the tree. Needles were all over the floor. I had imagined our first Christmas tree as such a joyous time... but it was something Michael was begrudingly participated in. Michael put the star up and then got ready for his volleyball game. ..........

I put the finishing touches on the tree and Michael left. I noticed the unstability of the tree as it was crashing to ground. I think the straw that brought the tree to the ground was the Star. I fell to the ground in a puddle of tears. Our first Christmas tree was in shambles on the ground, ornaments thrown about (some broken), and I didn't know if I could get it back up by myself. In utter frustration.... I threw the tree up, leaning it into the corner and I was Flaming MAD. I tried calling him as I was crying... but he was already playing and didn't answer. It was probably a good thing.

I gave up and picked up the ornaments and waited for Micahel to get home. Michael came home and saw how distraught I was and just laughed and patiently helped me get the tree back up. We really rigged this tree. We put weights on the back to keep it from tipping over and even put pieces of wood under it to see if we could even it out. We started to decorate again... Michael now in the mood I hoped be in when we first started this process. We laughed, told Christmas stories, and hung ornaments. We finished the tree. It had a "gangster lean" to it but it was up.

So we got it up.... got a do over for hanging the tree and survived. I think we're going to get a fake tree for next year though.....

I Know there is a lot I should blog about BUT....

I have so much to blog on ... Mizzou loosing, Michael & I and our first christmas tree, our 6 month anniversary.... but I am feel led to blog about this FIRST....

MOVIE TRAILER HAS BEEN RELEASED

Coming to a Theater....May 30, 2008

http://movies.aol.com//movie/sex-and-the-city-2008/30247/video/trailer-no-1/2033774

Watch and Get EXCITED!

Praise...and Confession

Hallelujah! Praise God from heaven, praise him from the mountaintops; Praise him, all you his angels, praise him, all you his warriors, Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, you morning stars; Praise him, high heaven, praise him, heavenly rain clouds; Praise, oh let them praise the name of God— he spoke the word, and there they were!

Psalms 148:1 (Msg.)

So ... I got the call from Green Tree Auto and Tire ......and it was only a clamp that broke from a hose.... $56.00 - PRAISE GOD. And ...Michael only minimally freaked out.

I confess humbly at the feet of my gracious Savior...He is always faithful when I am everything but faithful or even prayerful, thinking that things are beyond His control or out of His care. He cares for me and everything that I care for. I have a too frenquent tendancies to forget this... and in that I realize how much I am undeserving of the grace and mercy Jesus gives me through his sacrifice and not mine (which is always insufficient). My control freak tendancies get in the way of being a servant dependant on the FAITHFUL SAVIOR!

Carin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexander and I are both moving to Australia..... because cars don't break down in Australia
(EVERY MONTH)

All I can say is UGH!

and pray that the day is over sooner than later with minimal cost incurred...

How much do you think a ticket to Australia is?

By the way young or old - if you haven't read this book - it is a must read!

Words

Where have my words gone?

I haven't posted in about 2-3 weeks. It is not that I have nothing to talk about - so much is going on but its mainly personal and I feel I will bore you with the details of my life while you are trying to live your life. I have tried to think of profound things, I mean I am in Seminary... but the words all seem ordinary. I think it's that I have lost the ability to actually name how I am feeling and what's really going on. I think its because I am not sure. Life has been a blur, its all of a sudden Monday and Friday in an instance. School is ... well it's the end of the semester - need I say more and the holidays are coming up which always conjures up a tornado of feelings.

This year will be a new way of thinking and being since I have to share my traditions, time, and space with an entirely new family (like having 3 sets of parents wasn't enough). It will not be as it always has been... it will be different and I am trying to find the joy and beauty in that but it's hard. However, I am excited about traditions Michael and I can start together. It's kind of like a family do-over I am finding out when you now have a family of my own (Michael and I but it's still a family). We've already decided to watch all our favorite Christmas Cartoons after Church on Christmas Eve and drink hot chocolate and just lay on the couch.

If you have any great things you did as a newlywed on your first Christmas - I'd love to hear them.

Joe VS The Volcano Kind of Day

Do you ever feel like this at work?

I love my job but today is a Joe vs. the Volcano kind of day

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

This is Michael's creation...he worked 5 hours one this pumkin and I think he did an OUTSTANDING JOB... he has way more patience than I do.

Desi's Homecoming Party

Since Desi left, I have been trying to get her home and it finally worked...but only for a moment. Thanks Desi for sharing your adventure with us. I love you and miss you and can't wait till you're home for Christmas.