In the Middle of His Will

The Wedding … in retrospect

The wedding was beautiful and more wonderful than I could ever imagine… the day of the wedding was a little less than optimal… actually I almost let it ruin what the day was all about. I tend to have hope for people to do things because of what I would do even though it’s a hope that will always let me down. My expectations were to high and I allowed myself to be really hurt by others actions… BUT…when I saw Michael for the first time in the sanctuary of our church….all that junk melted away and I was reminded that my family, my disappointments, all the things that didn’t go as planned, the rain outside as it poured couldn’t change how I felt about that man. His smile lit up the room as he turned around to see me. My eyes welled up with tears (because I am the biggest cry baby ever) with joy and overwhelming sense of pride that this man would be my husband. He chose me… whoa!

The only thing I would change about that day is that everyone would have cooperated so that I could have enjoyed it more instead of micromanaging every last detail …. I couldn’t have had a wedding without my girlfriends who came to save the day – truly superhero’s to me: Pam, Becca, Jen, Staci, Emily, Desi, and all the ladies who decorated the hall –You made my day more special just by you being there to support me.

Becca, thank you for loaning me your mom when I needed one so much! Also – the day was blessed by Staci’s devotion…. When so much of the day was feeling like it was ruined …. Staci, you reminded me that that day was about Michael and I and God and NO ONE ELSE! Thank you for helping me keep the focus and blessing me and all the others in the room with your words and praise for our perfect faithful Father.

I am glad for my photographer’s words of advice… don’t go down that aisle until you are ready. That extra time with my dad was priceless. It allowed me to gain a little composure and truly process what was about to happen, since the whole day felt like playing dress up. As I walked down the aisle, I made the decision to look at Michael and no one else….So if I didn’t look at you or say hi back… sorry I was a focused woman looking at my wonderful blessing at the end of the aisle. One of my students from youth group told me that he had never seen me look more happy – that I just grinned from ear to ear as I walked down the aisle. But why wouldn’t I – have you seen how cute my husband is and when you know him you can’t help but fall in love with him.

Looking back at the day, I remember feeling the love of friends and family and realizing that as we get older our friends are a more crucial part of our lives taking the role of our family. I could not have gotten through this process without their support, prayer, and unconditional love (and hours of free therapy).

Advice for Upcoming brides:

Make sure you are very specific with family and the bridal party on what you expect of them. Don’t assume they know anything.

Surround yourself with positive people on your day.

Plan who will help with tear down of the church, reception and who does the odds and ends of gifts, where left over items go, guest book and things you’ll want back.

Make sure to check your guest list before writing your thank you notes. I had gifts from people not formally invited – you’ll need their address.

Make sure you are VERY specific with your DJ- you should not have to micromanage them at your reception.

Have at least 2-3 friends taking pictures of you getting ready, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal, wedding and reception. These are people who know you and who you love – they can get pictures that the photographer can’t or won’t be able to due to time limits. I thought 7 hours was enough and it wasn’t …..so much was missed that I wanted as memories for later.

Make sure all ceremony details are taken care of, like communion, the pastor’s microphone being on, someone knows when to light the candles.

Enjoy the day and remember that it’s about you and your husband… at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if anyone else was happy – you & your honey have to be happy! IT’S YOUR DAY – NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS. You didn’t get to choose what they did or do on their wedding day…that’s not being Bridezilla, that’s protecting your day for what it’s meant to be.

Remember …. All your planning and stressing are over the wedding end in a matter of hours when you drive away from the reception and think “whoa it’s over….” I am thinking of staring a “what-know” support group for newly married women who have free time for the first time in ages.

ENJOY and take it all in. Take time with your new husband the night of to talk about your experiences and your favorite parts. It helps you to remember and take the day all in.