Rain, Rain Go AWAY!!!!!!

I can't tell you how disappointed I am about my wedding day forcast. Last week I checked the extended forcast and it said 80 degrees and SUNNY - now it SUCKS!. ...

This is not what i had in mind on my wedding day or my OUTSIDE rehearsal dinner.... I just want a few things to go right

1)Good Weather

2)Sisters and family all make my day easier instead of harder

3)Everyone to make it to the reception

4)Did i mention ---- NO RAIN.... geeze

Here's some ladies who's photographers were able to make lemonade when they got a CRATE full of lemons.....

Becca's Wedding...

Becca and Tim's wedding was last Friday night. The wedding and Becca was "BEATIFUL!" The wedding was so quaint and personal at the Jewel Box. God blessed the evening with holding off the rain. (I am hoping He does the same for us... rain in the forecast Thursday - Saturday). It's amazing how different Becca and I's weddings are.... but they both fit us perfectly. Below are some pictures of the wedding (mostly of Michael and I at the wedding.) Being able to go to Becca's wedding - really has Michael and I excited for ours!

Getting ready for the Ceremony to begin....

Becca and I at the reception... isn't she Georgeous!

We can't wait till it's our wedding ...

Sharing some tender moments before our whirlwind begins.

Trying out our dance moves... Dress rehearsal for our big dance. We didn't do so well - we're not exactly use to sharing the dance floor with anyone... I know we'll be great if we don't have to share--so our 1st dance should prove to impress-- I hope - LOL***don't want to over promise...? Wedding is in 3 days, but I really hope it goes fast - I am about to loose it

Pray for me....

It's all Happening....

I can't believe I am 5 days away from my wedding day.

My family (mom & sister) came in town today... and yet

I feel so overwhelmed and ill-prepared. I just feel like I am

forgetting something. I guess what really matters is that I

have my dress - and a marriage licenses and Michael shows

up. I feel like all this planning is looked down upon by others.

They see my stress as self inflicted and see my worry as me

not trusting God. But isn't God in the details, toow?I know it's

silly to cry over one detail getting down, but I have been

invisioning this day since I was 6 wearing my first communion

gown and veil around the house with weedsfrom the backyard

as my flowers.

I know it will go as God intends but I am stressed, running

out of money and I have so much to do. I am looking forward

to getting to that moment before they open the doors, kissing my

father and waiting with giddy expecation to see Michael at the

other end of the aisle. And then... our eyes meet as the doors open

and watch out... the flood gates will open. My dad and I are both

crazy crybabies. Oh well.

I think it's crazy to know that I will never be single again, after

June 2, 2007 at about 7:35pm. I am also freaking out about

changing my name. Now understand.... I don't care for "Philpott"

but it's just weird being someone for 30 years and then changing

so much about yourself in such a short amount of time.

Well - pray for me this week if you get a chance.... pick a topic

any topic... and pray... I love you all and can't wait to see you on

"Our" special day.

Burning the Candle at Both Ends....

Today…. I have hit a new level of stress. Over the past week, I have been coming into work every day around 7:30am and working 9 hours w/ no lunch hour away from my desk so that I have enough time to go to one of my best friend’s wedding. She is getting married on Friday. Which means – I have to take off early Thursday for the rehearsal dinner and Friday for the wedding. I also have been doing my own errands for my wedding all week. So let me break this down for you…..
Wake up 6:00 – 6:15am
Work at 7:00 - 7:30am until 4:30-5pm
Errands….all over town
Home around 10:30pm
Bed around 11 (not falling asleep until 12am)

Oh... did I mention I don't do well with little sleep - just ask Michael or my mom.

I am burning the candle at both ends…… I am so tired today… all I can do is cry. I am like a zombie… the walking dead. With STRESS, LACK OF SLEEP, AND EMOTIONAL EXAHUSTION, I don’t think I have anything left in me.

Can this just be over with…..? I am in need of Mexico… and most of all SLEEP. They need to invent Bridal Clones; when you reach one month before the wedding they do things like remind you to brush your teeth, buy groceries, remind you of birthdays and have you sign the card you forgot to buy, can run errands for you while you are trying to earn a living that just will not stretch far enough, and will rub your back until you fall asleep and tell you how you will look beautiful regardless on your wedding day. Then ...after the rehearsal dinner they evaporate into thin air. Kind of like a Fairy God Mother but can look like you so they can sign all the paperwork and try things on for you when you desperately need to go shopping for your honeymoon……

Back to reality…. No bridal clones exist… and I am left to fend for myself… and I have to admit … I am not doing so good.

Don't people say this is the happiest time of your life.... maybe I am doing something wrong. I just don't see it.

I don't know if I can do this. I want to run home from work and get in my bed and put the covers over my head and just escape. Everything is overwhelming me right now. I have too much to do, too little time, and not enough resources. I have already cried 3 times today... I feel like an emotional wreck. I feel like I "CAN'T" do this... but there is this force pushing me onward but its draining me... and it's sucking the life from me. I just want all of this to be OVER WITH.
I have a 2 page list of things I have to do ...... and I feel like I am bothering people with not only my stress but asking for help. I don't recommend any bride have a wedding with all their family and bridal party out of town or MIA. I need help.....

Warning signs of immobilising stress: (aka Nervous Breakdown)
Physical:

1. back pain YES
2. breathing problems Sometimes
3. migraines YES
4. insomnia YES
5. low libido ???

Emotional:

1. Constant worrying YES
2. anxiety YES
3. feeling everything is out of your control and you are trapped. YES

Behavioural:

1. Mood swings YES
2. tantrums Some may call them that...

A Bronze Bride? . . or Burned?

I have been going to the tanning bed, like most brides, so I don't match my dress. For the past week, I haven't been getting more than freckles - so yesterday.... I stepped it up a notch...
NOT SMART - this is not the look I was going for!

I am miserable right now. I crunch.... I don't think skin is suppose to make noise. My back, stomach and the back of my "upper legs" - if you know what I mean...It hurts.... Too bad it's not winter - I could heat my whole house with just me. I am radianting heat.

I am glad I got my burn out of the way but at the same time... OUCH.
Not the desired results I was looking for.... I had something more in mind like ... this
Golden brown sun-kissed to let me look like a bikini model (without the ridculously skinny body). But what should I expect. My body has not been exposed to sun in a few years... I think it actually has rejected the effects of sunlight in the past... and it again rejects it by reacting in pain.....

Well the whole reason I am doing this is because last year I participated in a carwash to help our youth ministry raise money.
7 Hours in the sun with a black tanktop on equals you guessed it the TAN LINE THAT WON'T GO AWAY... I have had a permanent bib on my chest from the scoop of the tank top for 1 year now.... it hasn't gone away... and I didn't think a Bib shaped tan line would compliment my dress. So now I am red, crunchy, and hoping this turns into a tan. I will, none the less be taking some days off from tanning.... but can somone get me some more lotion....

The Wedding Party ....
(Carin's Side )
The women I have chosen to participate in my wedding are not only friends but they are also sisters, and I would go as far as to say my female soul mates. You can't go through life without friends like this.

Staci (Mathenia) Blankenship:
(or as I refer to her as "Bob")

Staci has been my best friends since the BFF necklaces were popular. We have truly been friends for over 23 years. I spent half my childhood at her house. Her parents were my parents, and we were always scheming something no matter where we were. Staci and I have went through breakups, hardtimes, comin' to Jesus, and getting married and her having her first child. She and I knew each other so well that we could tell that something was wrong just by the song playing in the background. Chicago's Greatest Hits was a dead give away that the other was needed STAT. She was the first person I told I was marrying Michael and she has been my prayer warrior ever since. Staci is one of the reasons I am with Michael today. Staci grew up Christian, I, the Catholic heathen, had to go to church with her whenever we spent the the night together. If those seeds had never been planted, I wouldn't be a Christian today. She is one of the major reasons I have been able to Change MY LIFE the way I have. And (here's the connection) if not for me accepting Christ, I would not be able to marry such a wonderful Godly man. Thank you Staci. I love you.

Christine Patrice Philpott
(or otherwise known as "Goat Girl" or "Chrusty")
Christ came into my life and ruined all my Barbie Dolls and took all my mom's attention. But seriously, Christi is full of life - and full of surprises. She moved out to Los Angeles about 3-4 years ago. She surfs, works 2 jobs and will soon be going to school to finish her degree in Elementary Ed. She is absolutely drop dead georgeous! and the best part is she has no idea how amazing she is which makes her even more beautiful. Christi is a great sister, she is very similar to Cameron Diaz's character in The Sweetest Thing. Funny, quirky, and always up for a good time. Look for her on the dance floor at the wedding - she'll be there.

Kelly Lynne Philpott
(or otherwise known as "Krelly")

Kelly is the my baby sister. She came into my life when I was seven. She was an utter disappointment - I wanted a brother. But i have grown to love her. She is sooooo super talented. She is not only a bridesmaid but also my florist. She is an apprentice at a flower shop and is an artist and has even had her own vintage clothing store. She is the Artist in the family. She is the best Storyteller and can make me laugh so hard I wheeze. Kelly has a soft and loving spirit and would do anything for anyone.Things are never dull with Kelly around. Did I mention she has turrets? LOL - Kelly I love you!

Jennifer Martin (Also know as the best pledge daughter)

Jen and I met in college during rush week. She pledged my sorority, Sigma Kappa. And we've been friends ever since. We share a love of Dave Matthews and sharing good meals. She just recently moved to St. Louis from Columbia, MO. She is currently looking for PR/Journalism or promotional work... so if you know of anything let me know. She's great! The life of the party... never a dull moment with Jen around. She has been such a great friend and I can't imagine my life without her.

Little Leci Lou -

Leci is one of our two flower girls. She is the daughter of two of our very dear friends, Megan and Kenny. She s full of personality and I can't wait to see how she steals the show. I am her Tata (aunt in italian) - when she was younger Carin was impossible for her to say... so I am now and will be her Tata...She is my bella. She looks beautiful in her dress and will be wearing her new "tappie shoes" with her princess dress. She is such a doll baby.

Okay... can I have your attention.....

I HAVE ONLY 22 DAYS till our WEDDING!!!!

• I have totally failed in my diet
• I have way too much to do
• I am finishing finals
• I have only 35% of my RSVP's Back - need more "no's"
• I need to talk to my caterer for the rehersal, send in my floor layout for the reception, and somewhere along the way I need to see the man I intend to marry so I can recognize him at the wedding.
• I have to find my weding jewelry and the special outfit for latter that night....
• I need to clone myself so that why I am at work the other me can do things like work on the program, pick all the scriptures and vows and go and pick up our marriage license.

Please pray for me.... I might just loose it

Or I might be long gone......

The Music Must still go on.....
As some of you know... my guitar player has bailed on me with 28 days to go to my wedding. I am trying to matter that at the end of the day I will be married..... but it's still disappointing. I keep telling myself that it is more about the message that will go forth from that place that could change lives more than the music. But I am left with a brat-like feeling of "I DON'T WANNA!!" when it comes to the suggestion of playing a CD. It's just not what i had envisioned when I heard, saw and thought of me walking down the isle to Canon in D on acoustic guitar. You don't get that mellow, chill, and classic feel when you stick in a CD. I am praying that God will lead me to someone that can help .... for a minimal cost. I am going to have to give up something in order to get them.... I just don't know how much yet. I have called Webster University Music department and Missouri Baptist University for their students. But I have not received a call back. I would be lying if I said I am not nervous. But God has told me over and over through chapel at school, through reading His word and through friends he uses in my life to remind me that worrying will not bring a solution but peace comes from the Lord. And our Lord gives good gifts to those who love him because he cares for us. I have to put my certainity in God and his faithfullness to me, and He is a Good God who loves me.

30 Days to go......

For those who don't know our story...Check it out here:
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/CarinPhilpott&MichaelSchindler

Thank you for all those who have been praying for us during this very stressful time. I have one more class to go. After May 8th, I am done with the semester. I am taking the summer off to get use to being a "wife" - - - whoa that's weird to say. I am still tripping over the fact that my name will change...I will be Carin Schindler.... still weird. I've been told I will get used to it.

I am at the point of "ahhhhhhh" about every 5 seconds. I can't believe how much we have to do and I am having a relatively simple wedding. So much to do and so little time.

In this time of Craziness... I would like to share how we've been blessed during the past weeks:
1. My mom and sisters visited from out of town for my wedding shower and they saw my dress for the first time. They cried... and guess what the dress I ordered 2 sizes smaller not only fits but zipped perfectly. The bra even worked ... I guess the $90 was worth it.
2. Oh did I mention the dress FITS!!!!
3. We've had 3 showers that have refurnished our entire kitchen with all new cooking necessities.
4. I am almost done paying "bills" from the wedding.
5. Michael and I get to go on a "FUN" date on Saturday. We're going to the Card's game (if it doesn't rain).
6. My sister did a mock of the centerpeices for reception - it was wonderful!!! - Thanks Kelly (a very talented florist)
7. Our house flooding issue is being taken care of - YEAH
8. Chewy (my Dog) is now sporting his summer hairdo - the funny thing is ... I feel like I need to put some pants on him... he's a little naked for a dog.... LOL

So many more blessings ... I could go on for days... but I will leave them for another entry. Plus I have to get back to work....